I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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