just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
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