your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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