So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
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