i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize