so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
