You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Sorry about my life...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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