Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize