Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
