I wish I could teleport
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
