So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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