There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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