I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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