so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
3 2 1 whiskey
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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