Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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