thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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