Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
