Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
