how do flat chested girls get laid?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
