took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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