No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
