can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
