your room smells of hookers.
And success
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
