Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
