me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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