Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I have post one night stand depression
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
