The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
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It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
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It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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