She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
