When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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