fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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