you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
