Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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