The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
