11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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