Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Someone came in the potted fern
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
