Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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