think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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