I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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