I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My vagina is very pro this idea
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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