you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
