Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize