Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize