What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
