This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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