I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
