But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I could make wine with my vomit
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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