He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
