can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Floor bacon is actually really good
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
