Just cropdusted the office
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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