did you get engaged???
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
