im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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