that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
