i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
