I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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