I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
