i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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