she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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