I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
