Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
