I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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