Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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