I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
