Your tits are I can't wait for
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"