as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize