Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
