I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm sobbing to NWA
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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