I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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